When I was a girl growing up in the wilds of a 12 sibling family, with 6 older brothers, and 3 older sisters, one of the words we never said aloud was “love”. I got into the habit of saying “I’m glad…” instead of “I love” simply because we were taunted and teased mercilessly if we uttered that 4 letter word aloud. Then the cartoon “Love is…” came along, and because it was a comic, it seemed ok to read the word “love” silently, and no one in my household seemed to mention that the couple of youngish looking characters were indeed naked, and clearly by the looks of their bashful and reddened cheeks, in love.
Well, what is the meaning behind the word “love”? The English language only has one word to describe all the different types of love, ie. passionate, animated, lust, marital, etc. while in Greek, there are eight different words that all describe “love” in one way or another. Incidentally, the Japanese language has no word for love. So, my question today is, if we had more words for “love”, would we be better at describing it and our feelings about it?
I think of Inuit up north of me in Canada, and their many words for snow. Icelandic has even more, with over 80 different words for snow: Blinding snow, crystalized snow, heavy wet snow, spring snow, and many more. We know from their geographical location that snow is significant, both to their well-being and to their livelihood. The word is significant. It is necessary to be specific.
Unfortunately, I think the word “love” in the English language has been dealt an injustice.
Perhaps the “Love is…” comic had it right by describing what love is. Written and drawn by Bill Asprey, continuing over 50 years, the cartoon encapsulates the deep and sometimes truly personal idea of love (Love is… a kind of heaven, only better” as well as the simple and easy definition of love (“Love is… a sweet hello”).
So what is it in your life that you would describe as “Love is…?”
This past weekend was Mother’s Day 2024. I had prepared myself to not get my hopes up; my grown daughters have their own lives, their own friends, and their own significant others. I was fully prepared emotionally (almost) to expect very little time with them and was well aware that I shouldn’t want or need more.
I had THE BEST MOTHER’S DAY EVER! Really.
Since we in English have only one word for “love”, here’s my best definitions from this past weekend that describes how I felt loved:
Love is….your 29 year old daughter having you over at her house for 2 nights and also taking you paddleboarding with 3 of her knock-dead gorgeous friends.
Love is….your daughter telling you that her gorgeous friend thinks “Your mom is great”.
Love is…having all 5 members of your immediate family share their best stories of growing up.
Love is…throwing a bocce ball on the sand in a private spot on a well-known river, in the middle of no-where.
Love is…not cooking once, because your daughter and her partner take charge, make breakfast, and 2 suppers, one of which is a full-out barbeque for the first spring event!
Love is…not worrying about where your kids are, because they are with you.
Love is…finding out the first time your daughters said, “I love you” to their spouses, and how they responded.
Love is…seeing your two daughters so happy and fulfilled in their relationships with their spouses and their friends.
Love is…being hugged so hard my back cracks.
Love is…being given the warm duvet, remote control, getting tucked into bed, and shown how to work the smart TV.
Love is…being cared about and cared for by my sons-in-law.
Love is…having a sweatshirt made for me by my beautiful, talented oldest daughter that says, “MOM, est. 1992,” with our 3 names, our birth flowers, and in my favourite colours.
Love is…having no idea how to paddle board, and being taught how to by my daughter and her dog.
Love is…being given the big blanket to sit on when on the beach.
What are your “Love is….” definitions?
With only one word for love in the English language, I sure am grateful that my “Love is…” says it in such a way that my eternal love for my daughters on Mother’s Day is loud, clear and emboldened.
“Love is….” having been so loved that it overflows into the rest of your life.
Thanks Mr. Asprey.
